130. England

Football minnows England pulled a shocking upset last night. They actually beat a decent team coached by a decent coach. How wonderful. The world rejoices. All is safe once more. Osama bin Laden is but a distant memory. The Spice Girls never existed. And George Bush is in his final term as president. It's all just roses and rainbows and mutant midgets dancing upon fields of green.

I hate England. I really do. With all my freaking heart and soul I hate them. Does this mean that we'd have to put up with retarded hype machine of WAGS and wankers (not necessarily in that order) come next year in Austria and Switzerland? I can hardly contain myself.







Famed Three Lions fan and dog-lover, Osama "Big Ben" Laden watches England beat Russia in his comfy pad.