Saturday, June 30, 2007

121. Ugly Retard of the Day

"My hump, my hump, my lovely lady lumps..."

Thursday, June 28, 2007

off the copenhagen wall

i wanted to eloquently describe these pictures, but a picture paints a thousand words.
we should all try to creatively and elaborately use the English language...fuck it*.

* hi ashby!

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

120. Horny Retard of the Day

For being either arrogant enough to think he could get away with it, or being stupid enough to be set-up as a stooge.

119. Retard of the Day Award

For superior achievements in retardation.

"I need something to suck, and I need it RIGHT NOW!!!"

Sunday, June 24, 2007

118. It Ain't Easy

And nobody said it would be. Life that is.

Of course you can make yourself oblivious to it all, but I can pretty much bet ya that it'd come back to bite in the ass. And it would be pretty. No sir, not at all.

Well what can one do? Think about a rainy that sure as hell will come around one day that's what. And you gotta make ready for that one. Or you'll be in so many levels of shit that I can't possibly begin to define. Have seen it happen one too many times to a whole lotta people.

Failing to plan is planning to fail. As retarded as that sounds, I reckon it's true to a certain extent. But of course, I know a great deal of people (blessed fools the lot of em!) who've never planned beyond an hour of their lives and seem to be living free and happy in that fantasy world they've built for themselves. Damn them I say, damn them all to hell! To HELL!!!!

Other than that, if we're but mere mortals, we can only do our best that we're as best prepared for that time when the proverbial shit comes a-visiting and hits the fan. Be it at work or in this merry dance of life. That's all I'm saying. Not a calling to be so focused on what lies ahead till we forget the present. Hell no. Just to sometimes think a little and sweat a lot while we still can and not ever regret one minute later.

Fuck it all, I sound like my friend's uncle, an obese fella named Toby, who was known to have a fancy for live chickens as well as a craving for his own boogers. And every now and then, he'd impart these tiny golden nuggets of wisdom to us unsuspecting children. He'd scare us shitless. Because he'd be apt to pull one of those squishy fuckers from his huge nostril and swallow it before our very eyes. Now that's the kind of advice that a kid has to take seriously.

Saturday, June 16, 2007

117. Wishlist

I wish I was the full moon shining off your camaro's hood.

Quite possibly just about the best line of lyric ever written.

Wednesday, June 06, 2007

116. The Home Stretch

We're all on the final leg of our journeys to a certain extent, that final stretch which inevitably begins the moment we draw our first breath in this world. It is a rather morbid thought no, our own mortality? The knowledge that our body is slowly dying as we speak.

At times, we may wonder; are we now as Rome in the noontide of her glory? Or are we as the grey shadows of twilight, slowly diminishing in a dream of what was? Inside are we still struggling to hold on to those fading glories, whislt allowing ourselves to waste away till we are but hollow husks of ourselves?

Damn if I know the answer. Make like a cow and go moo instead. Mooooooo...

Sunday, June 03, 2007

115. Rain

Oh yes. And lots of it. It never ceases to amaze me how it always starts just seconds before you're off for your weekend kickabout. Bloody hell.