Friday, October 14, 2005

37. Something Wicked This Way Comes

Remember that old novel by Ray Bradbury? The one about a dark carnival of sorts that comes to town and grants you your deepest, darkest wishes, only for you to lose your soul in return? Great stuff there, very gothic-ish with an absolutely brilliant title (kinda like the title of a rock song circa late-60's/early-70s, you just can imagine some high-pitched vocals strung out on drugs going "Yeah, yeah, yeah, something wicked's a coming, and baby, this way it comes, yeah, yeah, yeah" to Led Zeppelin-esque riffs).

Well anyway, crazy at it seems, apparently something similar has come a-visiting upon us unsuspecting simple folk of this urban jungle. Will save this for another day. Well, at least if I have the inkling or inclination to write about it that is. Watch this space.

Now then, back from the fantastic to the mundane. Over the weekend, I stumbled upon two rather interesting blogs (one by an acquaintance and the other by accident) dealing with more or less the same thing, an unhappy break-up (was there ever in the history of the world where a break-up was all nice and sunny? I think not). Ok, so it's not really mundane.

Anyway, two blogs by two different people...different genders, different ages, different countries, different reactions, same pain. We've all, at one time or another, been down that lonely and ugly road before. And we've all dealt with it in our own different ways. Some might've wept like little babies (girls included!), while some might've gone all ape-shit and bonkers, like the ex of a buddy of mine who threatened to kill herself if he left her (he did and she got married, eventually). Others might've just actually tried to suck it in and get on with it, looking at the bright side of things (yeah right, just who do you think you were kidding???). Either way, whatever route chosen, never is it pretty.

Pick one of the following; pain, anguish, anger, sorrow, self-pity, more anger...and mix it up with the rest. That's more or less how it goes.

Of course the internet is a good an outlet as any to vent those feelings out, even perhaps as a form of rehabilitation. Of course what we see is just the surface of those raw emotions, like a snapshot of the deep ocean of melancholy that lies underneath. Yet it is remarkable that people can be so open and honest with their heartbreak to begin with, sharing their innermost feelings for all the world to see (and judging by the regular visitors to this blog, countless perverts and potential serial killers included). Never underestimate the power of a broken heart.

So back to the blogs. Both are extremely honest, displaying in words and images the turmoil the writer feels. One seeks closure, and expresses the familiar feelings of anger and search for answers that we all go through whenever we're in such a position. Mostly the question is how someone we care about so deeply could hurt us so. I think deep down we all know the answer to that.

Now the other blogger goes about it in a different way, with not a single word written in torment or despair. Instead, what she doesn't say in words, she more than makes up for it (peculiarly) through the form of comic strips. Yet what is said in those simple stick figure images are deeply more expressive and complex than any words can ever hope to convey. They're humourous and heartbreaking at the same time, and you just sense how alone and empty she feels. Why? Simple, because you've been through it yourself.

I've noticed that most of the comments left by visitors of those blogs are the usual get-over-it-and-move-on sorta thing. Well-intentioned but irrelevant under the circumstances I think. No matter what anyone says, they can't change how you feel. Only time can heal such hurts. And it's something that you have to deal with yourself. But it is after the healing where the true test lies. I guess heartbreak makes us want to harden our hearts to a certain extent. It's just our job never to let it.


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